Relative Pronouns: Understanding the Difference Between Che and Cui

What is a Relative Pronoun in Italian?

Before we dive into che and cui, let’s make sure we understand what a relative pronoun is.

A relative pronoun connects two parts of a sentence and refers back to a noun that was already mentioned (this noun is called the antecedent).

In English, relative pronouns are words like: who, whom, which, that.

Examples in English:

• The book that I recommended.
• The doctor whom I told you about.

In Italian, the main relative pronouns are:

• che
• cui

These two are the ones that often cause confusion. Let’s make it simple.

The Basic Rule: “CHE” vs “CUI”

So remember:

• Use che when there’s NO preposition (as subject or direct object)
• Use cui when there IS a preposition (di, a, in, con, su, per, da, etc.)

When to Use CHE (No Preposition)

Use CHE when the verb directly connects to the object:

• Il ragazzo che vedo = The boy (that) I see
• La macchina che guido = The car (that) I drive
• Il film che guardiamo = The movie (that) we watch

When to Use CUI (With Preposition)

Use CUI whenever a preposition is needed:

• Il ragazzo con cui parlo = The boy (with whom) I talk
• La città in cui vivo = The city (in which) I live
• L’amica a cui scrivo = The friend (to whom) I write

Why English Speakers Get Confused

In English, we put prepositions at the end:

• “The friend who I talked with“

In Italian, prepositions must stay with the relative pronoun:”L’amico con cui ho parlato”

Common Mistakes to Avoid

Common Verbs that need CUI

Here are the most common Italian verb combinations where you’ll need to use “cui” (grouped by preposition to help you remember them):

With “A” (to/at)

1. pensare a (to think about)
   • La vacanza a cui penso sempre = The vacation I always think about
2. scrivere a (to write to)
   • L’amico a cui scrivo spesso = The friend I often write to
   • Mia nonna a cui telefono la domenica = My grandmother I call on Sundays
3. rispondere a (to respond to)
   • Il messaggio a cui non ho risposto = The message I didn’t respond to

With “CON” (with)

1. parlare con (to speak with)
   • La ragazza con cui ho parlato = The girl I spoke with
2. uscire con (to go out with)
   • Il ragazzo con cui esco = The boy I’m dating
3. studiare con (to study with)
   • L’amica con cui studio italiano = The friend I study Italian with
4. viaggiare con (to travel with)
   • Le persone con cui viaggio = The people I travel with

With “IN” (in)

1. vivere in (to live in)
   • La città in cui vivo = The city I live in
2. credere in (to believe in)
   • Le idee in cui credo = The ideas I believe in
3. entrare in (to enter)
   • Il negozio in cui siamo entrati = The store we entered

With “DI” (about/of)

1. parlare di (to talk about)
   • Il libro di cui parliamo = The book we’re talking about
2. occuparsi di (to take care of)
   • Il progetto di cui mi occupo = The project I’m taking care of

With other prepositions

1. lavorare per (to work for)
   • La compagnia per cui lavoro = The company I work for
2. andare da (to go to someone)
   • Il dentista da cui vado = The dentist I go to
3. passare per (to pass through)
   • La strada per cui passo = The road I pass through

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Italian Verbs with Prepositions

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